Things to send

Even though I have not heard from my son I continue to send him letters and include with the note the Sunday comics and if I can find it any uplifting news story. Last week I sent him an article about a fawn that had wandered into the small town emergency room. I think receiving a newspaper clippings from home that have something interesting or uplifting perhaps gives them just a moment to think about something else besides being shot at and being far away from home. We continue to pray at church for him and his troops and he is on the prayer chain supported by the prayer warriors. If there any other ideas readers have about what to send if you could share them that would be most helpful.

Afghanistan

Learned there were 2 soldiers killed and 2 wounded in a unit over in Afghanistan. It is extremely difficult to be patient to learn if it is your loved one. When my son was injured in Iraq I did not learn about it until months later when he was home on leave and he told me. I never was notified by the military. I pray for all the families with loved ones stationed in war zones.

New Deployment

Dear Readers my son is once again back in a war zone. Only this time he also has a wife that will worry about him. I can not imagine what it is like for the two of them to be married only 3 weeks and he is shipped out for a year. I am sure there are other service men and women who have experienced the same trials. They are both included in my prayers.

Well my son is now married and beginning a new life. I hope all his wishes come to pass. He and his lovely wife were married in Germany. I was able to fly over to attend the ceremony. He will be deployed soon to a war zone and will be gone a year. Learning how to be supportive to my daughter-in-law while he is gone will be helpful in dealing with worry and being able to share the experience will be helpful in getting through the stressful time.

My son is once again back in Germany. He has spent the past year state side in grad school. He and sweetheart will be getting married July 2, 2011. I am very happy for him. Every mother wants her children to be settled and find happiness. This was a wonderful mother's day.

Returning, Reconnecting and relationships

Now that my son is in the United States. Seems it is more important that ever to establish routine contact and strengthen the relationship. Moving anywhere new has its pitfalls and new adventures. Especially important to let him know that his family is here to give support.

Military son back in the U.S.

Been a while since I blogged. My son is back in the United States and attending school. It is comforting to know he is on the same continent as his family. We get to visit by skype now which is fabulous.

Science education

I was thinking about how much I love science and anything that has to do with science. My fifth grade teacher probably thought she was doing something special, however, that is not what it felt like at the time. I always thought she didn't care for any of the children who lived in the orphanage and I was the only one from the orphanage in her class that year. I remember being lined up with the rest of my fifth grade class in front of the chalk board in the order of how we scored on our academic tests. I was the last one called up for history, math, English, geography and reading in other words, the student with the lowest scores. However, imagine my teacher's surprise when she had to call my name first, for the highest score in the subject of science. This experience taught me, if you don't give up, everyone has at least one thing at which they can excel. The secret is to keep trying until you find that one thing.

Wondering what happened to others

The orphanage was quite large and there seemed to be a lot of children there. I often wonder what happened to them. When my dad remarried he took my brother and I from the orphanage and we returned to Casper. I had received one letter from one of the sisters, however my new stepmother became angry and insisted I read the letter to her. She ripped the letter from my hands and tore it up. If I received any additional letters from people from the orphanage I don't know. She was very controlling. The sisters at the orphanage were so influential in my formative years I would have liked to remain in contact.

A new year 2010

The holidays were wonderful. My son bought a ticket for me to fly to Germany to visit. He and his girlfriend made me feel welcome and went above and beyond to see that I had a splendid time. I never dreamed I would get to go to Germany. What a beautiful country and the people were very gracious. David and Anke took me to see the Cathedrals which were breathtaking and awesome. I met some of David's friends and co-workers. While I was there we attended a medieval dinner that was quite entertaining. The host spoke only in German so one of the guests would translate for those in the party who were not fluent in German. The food was good and the entertainment was hardy. At night there were stands set up that sold gluvine, a warmed wine that was delicious. There was lots of snow and the atmosphere was very festive. The German cuisine is extraordinary and I was particularly impressed with the salads. Each restaurant had there own signature salad dressing that was made fresh daily. I sampled a few of the beers at the different pubs. I could definitely become enamored with beer if I lived in Germany. Wonderful memories.

Most recent news

Received notice last week that my son has been deployed back to Germany. What a wonderful news with which to celebrate the 4Th of July. I remember years past and different activities we enjoyed to celebrate the 4th. This year my husband and I traveled to Winthrop WA. What breathtaking scenery. We were there for two days and spent the time visiting the unique shops and tasting the wonderful food.

Social Graces

One of the experiences of growing up in a home with two parents is learning from parents how to interact socially. I believe the social patterns are learned by watching and interacting with parents. This learning occurs from birth through young adulthood. When a situation arises a child will observe a parent's response and often ask WHY or wait to see what happens. Through observation of behavior patterns humans learn normal acceptable phrases, responses and parameters of socially acceptable behavior. Children learn how to make friends, negotiate, trust, risk taking and self confidence. Being a child of an alcoholic mother and living in the orphanage I spent a lot of years being self conscious, made odd comments and generally lacked the ability to interact with a group of peers. When I found myself in a group of people I often felt awkward, invisible and would try to melt into my surroundings. Being recognized as a child that lived at the children's home automatically made me feel like others viewed me as someone who did not have a home with parents that loved and cared about me and therefore was pitied. I remember my fourth grade teacher and her husband coming to the orphanage one evening to pick me up so that I could participate in a square dance recital and then later took me out for ice cream. I remember it being a very enjoyable evening however, I remember defensively saying to her "You do not have to do this for me!" She smiled and looked at me and said "I know we don't, we want to". I don't remember what my response was, however I hope I told her thank you. I know I gave her fits my whole fourth grade year. She never made me feel like I was bad when I failed to do homework. I can remember one day she asked for all the students homework and I told her I had forgot it at the orphanage. She said go home and get it. I remember walking back to the orphanage and getting the homework. She instilled in me the sense of responsibility for myself and that lame excuses will not go very far. I will always remember her kindness.

Importance of believing

Attending mass everyday was excellent training and gave me a sense of peace. I loved listening to the mass in Latin and enjoyed even more singing the Latin hymns. I believe learning prayers were elemental in developing coping mechanisms and hope that tomorrow would be better. I can remember sitting in church with everyone being quiet and having a sense that God was listening to this 8 year old's troubled heart and that he would answer my prayers.

I remember especially the times my mother would visit. Although I was glad to see her I knew she would be drinking and the smell of alcohol on her breath caused me a great deal of anxiety. I did not realize that the visit was also difficult for her. Many times she said she never wanted us to be in the orphanage. I can only remember two visits during the five years my brother and I were there. The first year at Christmas when we were in the Christmas pageant in which the children in the orphanage participated and then again when I was in the 5th grade.

During the time my brother and I were in the orphanage our dad would take us to Denver to spend a couple of weeks in the summer with our grandparents (Mom's dad and stepmother). Mother would come out to their place a couple of times to see us. She was a waitress and didn't drive. Getting off work was not always easy for her. She did not believe in attending or belonging to a church. So we didn't have many conversations about God. Dad on the other hand attended mass every week and had a rosary he carried with him.

Believing in something greater than myself, learning to pray and sustaining a hope for tomorrow helped me through some pretty troubled times.

Orderliness

The routine of life in the orphanage was orderly and predictable. We we were up at 5:30 am, attended mass, proceeded to the dining room for breakfast, completed the morning chores then boarded the bus for school. When school let out for lunch we boarded the bus again and returned to the orphanage for the noon meal. Remembering back I am amazed at how organized everything was; that a hundred children could be transported back to the orphanage, gather up dishes of food from the serving pass through counter and deliver the food to the appropriate dining room, eat, wash the dishes reset the tables for the next meal, return containers back to the pass through area, board the bus again and return to school within the allotted time. After school we returned to the orphanage on the bus, changed from our school clothes into clothes for which we could complete our after school chores. Supper was served around 5 pm, after the meal was completed we washed the dishes, reset the tables, swept the floor and returned the serving dishes to the kitchen. After supper, time was spent doing homework, reading, or playing games. Television was only watched on specific days or on special occasions. We were not allowed to watch TV everyday, we were expected to find other activities to entertain ourselves. Reading to this day is one of my favorite pastimes.

Kitchen Duty

Back to the story of life in the orphanage. When one was assigned to the kitchen that person was to be there after school during the week and in the kitchen on the weekends. I can remember buttering a huge electric roaster (that probably held a good sized turkey) and then cracking eggs forever to make scrambled eggs for breakfast. We had the best food in the country. Sister D, hands down, was the best cook I've ever seen. It also helped that we raised our own chickens that provided eggs, pigs for pork and bacon, cows for milk and grew most of all the vegetables we ate. There was always plenty of food to eat. Sister D made almost all of the bread and baked all desserts and there was quite a variety. We were fed extremely well. I can remember getting a 10 gallon can of milk out of the walk-in refrigerator that had 2 inches of cream on the top (that was after the milk had been pasteurized and separated). Sister D would sometimes make pies and when she did she always made the left over pie dough into cinnamon cookies for me.

We didn't work all the time, there was time for fun activities too. There was a huge playground between the main building and the barns that had swings, slides, sandbox and more than enough room to play softball without hitting any windows or obstacles. There also was a full sized in ground swimming pool that everyone could swim in. I can remember the first summer there when I broke my nose. I was in the swimming pool in the shallow section that had a slide. I had just gone down the slide but did not get out of the way fast enough when a second kid came down the slide feet first and his big old feet connected with my nose. Man, did that hurt I can remember seeing stars. To this day I have a crooked nose. I liked this time the best; my brother could swim in the little kids pool that was right next to the big pool and I could go over and play with him for as long as I wanted. I can remember my dad coming to visit and he would sit in the shade with the sisters and visit and watch my brother and I play.

I think there was the right amount of work along with time for play. We learned the work had to be done before we could go off to play.

Back to Iraq

My son e-mailed me saying he was ok after the horrible shooting in Baghdad. My heart and prayers go out to the families of the soldiers that were killed. This is a very sad time.

Along awaited visit

My son was home last week for a visit. He also brought his girlfriend, which we were very happy to meet. I don't know how he found such a delightful young lady. We all had a great time visiting, playing games, eating and sightseeing in Seattle. The time went by in the blink of an eye and then the two of them were back on the road headed back to Wyoming. I hope it will be a memorable trip for my son and his girlfriend. I am hoping to get pictures printed of all of us. I am not very good with a camera so we will see how I did. David has several months left on his tour in Iraq.

introduction to chores

The orphanage was a huge building and housed several children from infants to high school seniors. The children were divided up according to age and gender. The smallest children too young to attend school lived on the first floor. The second floor housed the girls from kindergarten to high school. The two dormitories separated by the sister's sleeping quarters were where the younger girls were assigned to sleep. The oldest girls were allowed to sleep in a room that was on the second floor that was just a little ways down the hall from the main quarters and was located next to the girls' stairwell. Continuing down the second floor corridor on the left was the elevator and across from the elevator was the library for the girls. This room also had a small TV, piano and furniture. I remember the the west side of the room having windows the length of the room wonderful sunlight and lots of shelves filled with books. The room was the size of a large classroom. Continuing to the end of the long corridor was the living quarters for the younger boys and next to that section was another staircase, the boys' stairwell.

We were allowed to watch The Ed Sullivan show and Bonanza once a week after dinner. I can remember once when Elvis Presley was scheduled to appear on the Ed Sullivan show. We were all excited and hurried through supper, quickly washed the dishes, reset the tables and swept the floor all in record time to get back to the second floor library to crowd around the TV to watch.

Every child was assigned chores. I remember starting out being assigned to sweep and polish the floors in the girls' sleeping quarters every week. There was a big commercial floor polisher we were taught how to use. From there I graduated to cleaning the latrine. After those tasks were learned and executed to sister's satisfaction I was moved to sweeping and dusting the stairs on the stairwell. There were six flights of stairs that extended from the third floor to the basement. I can remember eventually being assigned to clean the chapel (which was a full size church). Sister Je was in charge of the chapel, the choir, the infirmary, and probably a whole host of things I didn't know about. I loved sister Je. She was nonjudgmental, soft spoken, kind and all the children loved her. Anyway when assigned to chapel duty, one had to wear a scarf and if a girl had pants on they had to put on a skirt. The pews had to be dusted, the kneelers wiped down, the space under the pews swept, the window ledges dusted and assist with arranging the flowers for the alter. On Saturdays everyone would take turns in the large commercial laundry that was in the basement. The laundry had a large mangle press, two large garment presses, two ironing boards and I think in the connecting room a couple of large commercial front loaders and couple of commercial dryers. We were not allowed to run the washers or dryers however got lots of time on the mangle, steam presses and ironing boards. Eventually I was assigned kitchen duty. I think this was my favorite. Although it was hard work in the kitchen Sister D was wonderful to work under.

I learned alot of skills while living at the orphanage and in later years was able to put myself through college cleaning houses for people.

A Different View

Over the years I have had people ask me aren't you mad at being placed in the children's home? This question puzzled me. I have always believed my dad loved my brother and I with all his heart and he did not make the decision easily. He went to a number of people he thought might be able to help and in the end decided this was the best option. There were things about the children's home that could have been better, however, there were a number of positive experiences that I treasure.

Often times one does not control a situation, however, one always has the choice of how they will remember the experience and take away from it something positive. Life is good.

From Regina Brett "It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else".

First hair cut

Moving to the Children's home was actually a great improvement over our previous living situation. We now were in a dependable environment, had a clean bed to sleep in, clean cloths, three well prepared meals a day and a routine to our daily activities. The children's home was pretty much self sustaining. There was an on site dairy where the older boys milked the cows at 4am and again at 4pm. The milk was brought to the kitchen to be separated and pasteurized. We had fresh whole milk and cream with homemade butter. The orphanage also had pens with pigs so we had fresh bacon, ham, sausage and lard. There was a chicken coup with lots of chickens that provided fresh farm eggs. Sister D who ran the kitchen made homemade bread every other day. I have never tasted bread that could begin to compare with what Sister D made. The experience at the children's home taught me many life lessons.

One experience was the incident with the hair. I had long, stringy, straight blond hair. I barely would take the time to run a comb through the tangled locks much less fix it. Besides I had no idea how to fix it, I was only eight. My mother sometimes would comb and put my hair in metal curlers. Anyway, Sister JL one day told me to curl my hair. Not accustom to following directions or trying to figure out what was meant, decided I had other things to do. I found a curler and wound the ends of my hair around the one curler. Later that afternoon I took the curler out and sort of combed my hair. I soon learned that was not what was expected. Sister JL enlisted the assistance of two other girls, sat me on a stool and proceeded to cut my hair. I can remember crying "Don't cut my hair. (hiccup) My mom won't know me". All the while big alligator tears rolling down my cheeks. The next weekend when dad visited he asked who cut my hair I meekly said Sister JL. I didn't want him to be disappointed that I had not done what Sister JL had instructed me to do. I think he told me my hair looked cute. After that I was more than happy with the hair cut, lot less fuss.

Self reliance was expected, either figure out what the expectation was or there were swift consequences.